Wednesday 11 March 2015

 Our speaker - Margaret Barker


Freddie



Freddie is a good boy.
His Grandma's pride and joy.
Every day they got out for walkies,
and then come back for treats and talkies.
Snuggled up to watch create and craft.
3 doggies and a Grandma - oh how daft!

Now, Freddie and his sisters, Lucy and Flossie,
had their hair cut the other day.
Groomed and sleek and trim and glossy!
What smart dogs’ people would say!

Grandma got the doggies ready;
off they went for their daily trot!
But, hang on! Where is Freddie?
Two dogs… not three... who is forgot?

What?? Freddie, was out in front,
running off at such a great speed.
For, now that he'd had his haircut,
he no longer fitted his harness or his lead.

Freddie, was off and running!
The little blighter wouldn't stop,
not even to do a whoopsie!
Or a wee at the bus stop!

Lucy and Flossie wanted to sprinkle and tinkle,
but, with Grandma, they had to run,
chasing after that unstoppable Freddie,
who thought that it was all such fun!

Freddie ran and ran and ran;
he could have run for miles!
He kept turning and looking at Grandma,
giving her doggie laughs and smiles!

"Freddie! Freddie!" Grandma shouted.
"Please stop, you naughty boy!"
People stopped and stared and wondered,
what was this hoi polloi?

"Freddie! Freddie!" Grandma implored,
"Please, Freddie will you stop?"
Poor Grandma was needing oxygen,
and she was only fit to drop.

This  doggie - human race went on for ages.
Honestly...it's not a lie!
Grandma and girly dogs worried for Freddie,
as there was lots of traffic whizzing by!

Eventually, Grandma caught him.
My! She was cross and feeling grotty!
She shouted at her baby boy,
and smacked his little botty!

Grandma looked him in the eye;
Freddie and Grandma were face to face.
"Freddie you could have been killed!
You really are a flippin disgrace."

"Freddie! You're a bad boy!
You are not my pride and joy!
You really are a naughty dog!
Why do you have to run off and annoy?"

Back home, Freddie slunk away.
No create and craft for him!
It wasn't his fault the harness didn't fit.
He'd lost weight through having a trim!

Later that night, Grandma got the call,
Mum, couldn't do a thing with Freddie.
He was sulking in his special place,
refused his tea - he wasn't ready!

Now...Grandma loved her Freddie truly,
and it's really no surprise,
that Grandma had to reassure Freddie,
tell him she loved him and apologise.

She'd only given him a little tap;
she was worried he'd be run over and squished!
She never meant to hurt his feelings,
that was something she’d never wished.

"Freddie, you are a good dog,
you are Grandma's pride and joy.
I love you to the moon and back,
you are my best,good boy!"

"I love your little smiley face,
all soft and sweet and furry.
But, please don't run off fast again...
....or I’ll have to call you Freddie...Mercury!”
Freddies’ running  off caused Grandma lots of stress and palpitations!
Thank goodness it was just one dog – and not 101 dalmatians!


 Noah sketch introduction
 Plans for the ark
 Noah brought to tears
 Noah's neighbour
 Council Planning Dept.

 The panel decides
 The panel and audience decide
Thanks to our friends from Sutton Coldfield for sharing this very funny up to date version of Noah's ark!